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Writer's pictureThe Exhausted Pessimist

Me and My Big Mouth

This is the story of how I got the front of my sister's vehicle ripped off.


Okay, backstory: our neighbours are certifiably scary and outstandingly obnoxious. We've heard numerous domestic disputes and by the time the cops get there, they deny the whole thing. We've heard 'Karen' shout racial slurs and threats and witnessed her husband jump off a balcony one story up. These people are intensely off-putting under a facade of friendliness.


TLDR. We don't like them.


Pretty well every year for the last three years, my sister has had to get nails removed from her tires as the neighbour works in construction and doesn't bother picking up the nails and screws that fall out of his big ass red pickup truck. This was another such occasion. We were headed to the mall and the low air pressure gauge dings on the dash. We didn't even make it out of our parking lot.


We re-park and my sister says, "why me?"


I snarkily reply, "it's not you, it's the assholes you park beside!"


Cue said asshole hop out of said big ass truck in time to hear my comment...


A week later we come out to the front end of her vehicle ripped completely off on the side the neighbours park their truck. And of course no video cameras. And guess what colour paint transfer was on her white vehicle.


You guessed it.


Red.

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